What else do I need or leave out to be more confident? I have
the compliment from many speakers whenever I joint their program. I got the
awards as the confident speaker in one workshop, and compliment as good posting
and confident in another program. However why still I feel self-abased
afterwards? I received the recognition from one of my lecturer, he even offered
me, always welcome to be his tutor after I graduated. But why, what leave out
in my life that cause me still couldn’t be more positive and work hard in life?!
The feeling of lost is still there wandering, it’s like a lion, waiting for me
when I escape from my safety zone, it will tears me and swallow me. What should
I improve so that I can face my life confidently? Stop worry for the unknowing
future and start living now? What the guide to live life, I found so embarrassed
after 22 years, I found nothing about life.Many of lecturers are helping me, offered and suggesting me to
some company for internships, lecturers are giving advice, what should I do to
finish my thesis, however I still feel no aspiration to do my work well. My
everyday life is so blurred and listless. Furthermore, always think of nonsense
unachievable things and start wasting time like now. Get up man!! You have many
offers and compliment, it shows that you’re not a useless person, but why you
just couldn’t live like a person what people has recognized you as?I keep giving excuses, my head was so dizzy, I cannot focus,
doctor say my oxy-blood was in trouble that is why I cannot focus.. is it all
real? Please, my saying body and minds, please get well soon, I need you all in
a good functions, I need to do my work well. 6 weeks to go, stop imagining the
nonsense things, something has to give up if necessary, although you’ll regret
is better than losing all. Maybe, thinking to be too perfect and now spoil
everything, anyway, B+ ! Start over again, it still not ended…
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| Can i embrace the vast of the sky? Can i into the embrace of the sea? Can i just open my hand and hugs? Can I ... ... |
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