confused leh...

I always blame that to attend SERU programs are a waste of time, their programs quality is really lousy, even if they give me those slides, I swear I can conduct a better  activities compared to my instructors. Is it I am over-confident or conceited, I am just not respectful. However, some programs have changed my mind to make those claims, especially for those programs which invite the trainee from out campus who are profession in their field. I really enjoy few programs such as Public speaking workshop, NLP programs and In-design Workshop, these programs really open my mind where it defeated my conceited. I am still a nobody to be more sincere in received people teaching of knowledge. Ironically today I faced a dilemma in making a decision, anyway this decision had been made one weeks before. I promised to help out a programs at my hometown although I knew I have this in-design workhop, I just looked down on it, is fine for me to leave after lunch for the workshop, I just doesn’t care of it. However when the moment to leave is near and nearer, and feel missing and wouldn’t feel like leave! Why? Is simple, again, the in-design workshop delivers a new skills and interesting up to date editing software teaching. If you want to take this kind of workshop after school, properly you need to pay for thousands and above, but what the fees I need to pay now, it just cost me ten ringgit for two days along with six meals. How worth was it that only a dummies or those who not interested will let go. Unfortunately, my arrogant had caused to this destiny, I thought it going to be a meaningless activity, so I promised to help. But it just very perplexed me where I think, I should go back my hometown to help since they are not enough manpower. When I think twice, is it really they are lacking of manpower or just because no one wants to stand in front of the crowd and speak? I can imagine the condition since I had leaved, but if I continue to stay, I will remain the old me. Thinking that I have leaving for months, do I change much? I still remember the initial promised that I made, I will quite often available if the church need me, I will return and help. Maybe it is the value that inherited within Chinese value, please do not forget your roots. It is so contradict and confusing when you choose to hold on your roots and look forwards to improved yourself, how these two good values can integrates together? Let be realistic a little bit, what will I get today if I stand on the stage to give some words? But if I choose to stay for the in-design workshop, at least I know, I can get the knowledge on using design tools and a certificate in knowing a simple design skill. It definitely an added point to me myself values. I still remembered one words from someone on scolding another one, you’re so useless, why in your worlds there are only about GIRL and LOVE?! Can you please be a little bit stands up, and be a MAN?! hmm… I always admit, I put love in a very important position, I just feel so useless to be a good person but just cannot win a girl hearts, what for people keep praising me that I am good? It so satirize. One of my juniors once said, I think you are too clever that why you cannot get a girlfriend. I’m thinking in what sense she meant of the clever is? After that my course mates starting to agree with that, maybe I was too clever in the sense of I can easily guess what ordinary people think of. It was like, one of my lectures is really a great jokes maker, he usually tells jokes and for sure the student in class will laugh like hells, LOL and ROFL!!!  But for me, I really seldom feel that funny, I always can predict what jokes he tried to make, conversely, when people does not think that is jokes, but I laugh!!! What the hell!!! I am really a freak rather than say I am clever. My close friends always say, I can only find a knowledgeable and clever girl, however I am still a look a-liked clever BOY only, I am just not mature enough. Recently I met a lot of new friends, and I found one girl who has a special thinking which I feel she is quite clever and can think critically. She knows how to concern on her family condition and lives her life which shows her maturity. Haha… She is a foreign!! Don’t think too much, it’s just a compliment. If love need to consider this much, that’s why there are still a lot of single out there. However this is also the contradiction, it’s impossible to simply choose a person to be engaged with. Hey, please first concern on your thesis can or not!! Left two and a half weeks to go, are you ready to extend your academics year Mr.Terung? I meant if you still floating like this.

Recently found a new songs from Yan Zi which is nice, come listen listen……