mix feeling

Heart Broken? Lucky? Let talk one by one. 

Okay let starts with the happy one first although it not follow by sequences. What made me feel I’m lucky was I got an improved result for the past semester examination. Yea, I got a 3.58 GPA and with a 3.31 CGPA. Maybe it is still low in many people eye, but for me, it really a lucky grade to obtain. From my first year with an average GPA 3.20, to my second years with average GPA 3.30 and now it raised to 3.58, although it was low last time, but at least it show improvement. People like to say, you have to get a good result when your first year, because its very easy. Fine, I failed to make it, anyway, always keep yourself in the improvement path. By the way, I really feel nothing more than lucky I can express for this time.

long waited result, luckily it not a bad news.

What make me feeling dull, or what can make a person feeling dull at this stage? They can be many, a student, if not result, maybe is family economic problem, but what the other possibilities could be?

These few days she was even more different than before. No matter how I put in effort, the respond was really bad, though I should know, the meaning behind the action, when a people is lazy to entertain you. I guessed, she found the one who she liked the most, and yet she fell in trouble?

Okay, I always feel that I am noob, encouraged the one who I like to consider another guys. Not only once, but two times already, but what can I do if you can feel that the girl you like is not like you much than another guys. I don’t like the force feeling, sure it will end up with a sad ending. Maybe what I guessed is right, because she told me a little about this before, and I did encourage her to not give up with the one she love.

Added what make me feel curious was, she is different when she is at school and house. Everytime she went to sister house or this time back to hometown, we always turn like stranger. Maybe it the sense of security, at school, everyone has to be independent and seek for your own secure senses, once we got to a place we familiar with, the already security was there and we feel safe. 

Is it nothing I can do more other than give a bless?  Wish you can be happy always. 

i picked up a painting brush,
thought to paint up our life,
but seem like i used the wrong color.

>>> 虽然真相总是让人难受，总好过痴痴的等，然后连祝福还来不及献上就已经陨落了。