something has to write

This is my 25 posts on this 2013 year, oh why I mention this is because it is my second higher number of posts among these 5 years since 2009 where I started blogging. I just exceeded the post of last year 2012 which is 24 posts, hehe why I want to tell this ? I also don’t know, I just shower and found no different with University because the water is cold too. This was what I thought while bathing, yea, it’s my 25 posts, I break my second higher records, compare to 2010, what happen on my 2010, and even worst, what happen to my 2011 was just 11 posts throught out the year !! I simply gave a reason, the number of posts just simply shows that something special happen in my life, so I blogged. My blogs is actually writing what goes on in my life, it definitely my diary, just I write in the form such as poetry, short novel, story telling, prose and etc. Sometimes I write critical and analysis article, but it actually not really critical in thinking, just sound that way, haha. Hmm… so it meant, I have quite a special year for 2013? I have 25 post before end of the year, and it maybe going to be more. *listening to Better Man by Robbie Williams* hump… as promised, I learn to appreciate English song, so friend suggest me to listen to some classic which really awesome, but I always forgot the name of song that they told me, hmm… why I just very easy to forget. Some more they suggested me a radio fm what 107.XX fm, I forgot again, but for the songs from the fm really started to change my perspectives toward English songs, there are really some awesome voices. Okay, trying my best to listen more. *now playing A Whole New World, Alladin Disney movie theme song.* For the two songs, can I be a betterman? Are there really a whole new world when someone or something intercepted your lifes, and everything change, would it be? Recently I still very blur in my assignment, I don’t know why I like suddenly don’t know how to study, I don’t know what I’m doing now, everything just goes as slow as they can, my brain was like dysfunctioning since the open of the school, I was like cursed by any witch to become noob!! Argh!!!! Feel like shouting but I know, it wouldn’t bring any changes. Sigh! Okay fine, I have to find my way out no matter how slow it drag me, I cannot die half way. Ohh yea… suddenly I remembered of one song that I quite like few years ago, I forgot where I got it, but it is a song from a competition, the competition is “Eurovision song contest”, and I like the 2011 song so much that time – “Running Scared ” by Ell and Nikki. Hahaha… I really don’t know how to listen, many people are complaint to this song, they just couldn’t understand how come a horrible song can won the first prize. Hmm… I also don’t know, nevermind, just listen what I feel good. Like what she said, people just couldn’t understand why her likes Bob Marley so much, hehe… I also don’t know why. Okay, talk about the song again, the lyrics just something like,

“Come to me, come to me tonight
Oh God, I need you, anyway
Baby, I just wanna be, be around you all the time
Oh God, I need you, oh…

I’m running, I’m scared tonight
I’m running, I’m scared of life
I’m running, I’m scared of breathing
‘Cause I adore you ”

Yea, it just part of the lyrics, why running, scared of life? Scared of breathing? Hehe… seem like not, is because adore someone? So when met up, they will running scared. Hmm.. try not to explain much, really cannot understand what the English lyrics song try to mean. It sounds a bit emo when the first part, and I think of, she really emo and in bad mood today, I wonder why, is it really just because of the problem of 3G or other else ? She asked me yesterday, what the reason for called her for the first time, am I flirting her? Frankly say I really don’t know, I want her to be happy, but I worry, so can that consider as flirting? Maybe these days she was alone, all friends went out and even I back home to teach and lead for Sunday worship. Time passed, and I feel that we start to know each other much, and I keep denied in front of her that I have feeling towards her, why I was like that? Because I don’t want to be responsible or I just coward? Somemore people say that I am a flowerhearted guys, playboy, flirt here and there, OMG, I’m that kinds of male-being. I remembered that a senior girls, quite lot of people dislike her, but I just like not my business, I’ll take her as friend if she willing to talk, one day she talked, but I in bad, you ah, every girls at kk know you’re a flirting boy la. I’m like, what the we seldom talk then you say this kind of things, but it really make me stop to think, am i? I always give this reason, you know why I really good with and treat them good, you know I have 5 female creatures in my house since young, 1 mother and 4 sisters, and I always talk and play with them than my dad and brother, so what false I really feel more comfort when talk with girl. Okay fine I just couldn’t explain anymore, people will say explain is such a symptom to cover lie. So I said I don’t want explain more, and yesterday, I think she will be quite sad when I say maybe my intention is to flirt, but at the end she said a words, maybe you brought up with 5 girls, that’s why you good with girls. I was like so touch that time, someone told what actually I’m thinking, but I think it cannot last long for me as a reason to treat most girl good, why, first my future gf will jealous, second people will see me as a playboy, third….. hmm cannot think of third, lazy. But I really appreciate those who still good to me, I found that I really mess up my friendships, what am I doing, haiz… you said people like to call you the surname which same with mine due to the structure of your fb name. hehe… so I joking why my surname not good meh, you don’t want to be my sister meh? And her questioned back, you really wish that I become your sister? Hehe… I scolded her that don’t know chinese culture. First, but this cannot count la, just the way those immature kids trick, they always like to call the girl they like to be their mei mei, so they have much more excuse to get close to them, haha… but I hate this actually, so I never have any “mei mei” when secondary school, now I offered leh, but she don’t want, haha. Yea, we are no longer a secondary kids. Secondly, she really don’t know, the hidden meaning of using the same surname with a man which mean husband and wife relation, Mr and Mrs Khoo, haiyo, this easy also don’t know, but nevermind la, I don’t want to say more le, later people thought I’m flirting again, what the……. Sienzzz…. Huh… no time liao, tomorrow worship scripts haven’t done somemore, hahahhaha… walao ehh, die liao la…. Another English song that I like *Just give me a reason by Pink.*