Ode to Love

" Obviously this would be my first blogging in English, maybe it might be the last as well. Hehe… First of all, please ignore all of the grammar mistake or misusing of vocabulary, anywhere, if you feel free, you can correct all the mistake through the comment, great appreciation from those who feel free. Hahaha… Secondly, as my previous blog shown, I’m fully Chinese oriented writing person, so if some sentences that you couldn’t understand in English context, switch your mind into Chinese – English translation forms, that might help you a lot in understand the whole message that would like to bring out in this blogging. "

Ode to love (歌颂爱情) is something long ago which I wish to write about in mandarin version, anyway, the feeling to write it out is not yet mature for me to do so. I hope I can experience more before I’m truly able to ode to love happily. Here is the story that make me awake again to live my life, people like to say I’m a person who mindly stuck with pessimistic views all the time, I just feel like… emm.. No, it just some different perspective of happiness where I constructed it by a pessimistic way in the term of romantic, isn’t it wrong? At the end, I have to admit that I’m a pessimistic person instead of giving out any excuses. I have to traced back to last year while I’m a second year student in University, I met a girl who always smile and laugh happily, and definitely she is classified as optimism girls as well. Starting at that time, I was attracting by her “happy go lucky” lifestyle , so I think I can be optimism as her, at the end, I found that nothing change much, I’m still prefer the kind of mindset I have which I like to define it as “romantic” rather than pessimistic. Err… afterwards, just ignored. Something change this year when I first enter my third year life, I feel like want to isolated myself from the crowds especially the life at college, the reason I given is because I would be very busy this year due to my thesis year, but the person who knows me well, they know that not the main reason for it. Okay, I have to straight to the point because I late to my class without preparing and reading. Few times while I’m walking in campus, I saw a girl quite often, the images I got from her appearances were, ya, she’s an introvert person, and I think she’s definitely a kampong girl (because she always wearing sport track and don’t know what sport T-shirt), hmm… quite a nice looking girl, but I know, I won’t have to chance to know her, further if we are not from the same faculty or college, so stop think of it. But what make me couldn’t stop think of it was, I often meet her while I’m walking here or there, at least twice to third times a week. Fine, impossible I just simply struck up with her, is funny man, although I admit sometimes I’m quite flirty, but I won’t do this kind of malu stuff if I really don’t know someone at all. Something has changed the situation, her kampong look I mean, one day, she’s wearing college T-shirt and now I knew she’s from the same college as mine. No, I convinced myself again, so what, I want to isolate myself and we just have no chance to talk to each other. Time flies, day by day thing just slowly changing without any clear consciously symptom and I talked to her, knowing her, going out with her…….  At first I found out we are frankly enough to talk with each other, the funniest was, she told me what annoyed her, I was feel like, hmm… we just know each other once and the girl's telling me her blame , wt… weirdo enough, fine again, she’s friendly enough I think.  After that I just losing control again, I started to do some crazy stuff for her when I feel that she’s doing such goods to me too. This is what I always hope for, love in first sight , which mean both of a couple will appreciate each effort towards them. This is also the reason why, I admit, I did feeling love to quite many girls before, but I just didn’t proposed to them because I couldn’t feel that we are able to being together. Horr.. pulling back to the pessimistic or optimism, now I feel the way to be optimism, it is not just you forced yourself to be, but someone make you feel the happiness inside and it would sparkling by itself. I can feel the right feeling but as the same problem, I’m cowards enough to bear the long losing responsibility, and a person economically unsecure with unpromisable for a better future for another person. Huh… couldn’t write anymore, sweat liao, class time. Not related to topic at all == hahaha...